My mother is going to the Dominican Republic this month. To the border of Haiti, where she'll spend over a week working in a hospital. For four years she's been a qualified nurse, but the truth is she's been taking care of people for nearly three decades. On the phone tonight, she tells me what she's bringing. Medicine and eyeglasses. Towels and kitchen utensils. Kitchen utensils? She's bringing a set of spoons and knives and spatulas, and I know she's just trying to be helpful and logical, but I can't help but smile because this shows her heart.
My mother is taking something she used to feed her family for (I don't know how many) years. But she's taking it and giving it to another mother in another part of the world. I don't care if it's old and she has a newer set at home, that's not the point. The point is, every wife wants to know her husband- her family is fed. The earthquake and all the chaos that ensued, took away many wives' ability to spoon out food onto plates and watch it dissapear into mouths and bellies. By giving her kitchen utensils, my mom is giving these wives a chance to serve their families again- to spoon out sustenance. To take care of them. She is giving away a set of love.
These spoons and knives and forks have fed a hungry family of six in upstate New York and now they will travel with her and they will feed a dozen families more. Families who need nutrition and hope. We give away food, we give away money, we give away clothes. But when my mother gives away her spoons, she is giving purpose to another wife. And if you know my mother, you know she doesn't look at it that way. She doesn't stop to analyze the symbolism behind her gift, or behind her trip to the Border. Because love to my mother is so engrained in who she is and how she sees the world, that there simply is no other way for her. This is what it means to live 100 Days of Love. It's to love without notice or intent, with generousity and truth. I see that in her, and I hope one day to see it in myself.
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You are a kind daughter and your words give more honor than is due.
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