Day 74: Overtime Money and Tears

He wants to give money away.  He wants to give it away to a single dad who's trying to do right by his kids.  A guy who hasn't had a break.  Rich wants to give our money away and I've been grumpy about it.  Here's the thing-  it's been a long week.  A long week of overtime and late nights.  A long week of early mornings and I've been waiting for the weekend to spend that overtime money on shoes.  Or jeans.  Or cashmere sweaters.  And then Rich tells me that this guy has been on his mind.  That he knows, deep down in his gut, that we're supposed to give this dad our overtime money.  I'm sitting on edge of the bath tub crying while Rich shaves.  Crying because I want the spending money and crying because I hate it that I'm the kind of person who wants the spending money and crying because now my husband knows that this is the kind of person I am.  He sits down beside me and shares his coffee- which is more like 24 ounces of espresso- and tells me it's going to be ok.  That this is the right thing to do and he's not exactly asking for permission.  Then he kisses my forhead and goes to work, leaving me and my bad attitude to nuke his now-cold coffee and dilute it with creamer and sugar. 
I want us to be a generous couple.  I want us to be quick to bless the people around us.  I want us to give.  Just not this weekend.  This weekend I want to shop.  And so I go about my day feeling sorry for myself for having a generous husband.  And then, in the midst of my attitude, I realize it's not about what I can get, it's about what I already have.  And what I have is a man who cares about other people more than himself.  A man of principle who will do the right thing, even when his wife makes him feel like a monster for doing it.  What I have is better than anything I could find at an outlet store on a Saturday afternoon.  I call him at work and I apologize.  I tell him I want to be the kind of wife who encourages the good things in him.  And after all, this is what 100 Days of Love is about- loving each other so much that it overflows to the people around us.  The people who need love.  So this weekend I'm not shopping.  I'm writing, and this good.  This weekend I am honoring my husband, and this is better.