Day 49: Falling In and Out of Love... With a House

I've fallen in and out of love with a house this weekend and it reminds me very much of how easy it is to do the same with people. Here's what happened: We were browsing online, looking at various houses in our price range, mostly convinced there wasn't anything here we could afford. And then we saw it, like an attractive new person in a church of bored singles, this house grabbed our attention. It was built in 1830. It was set on over three acres and while the inside was small, it was all hardwood with an adorable fireplace. There was a tiny barn and woods. And best of all it rested nicely within our price range. Rich and I drove out to the place. We found it empty and abandoned but upon peering through the windows we discovered a fire burning in the wood stove. Charming. The wood floors gleamed, there was an open loft on the second floor and the back deck stretched out toward an open yard and woods. We left, completely enamored with the property. It was ours. It had to be, it just felt so right. We talked about how we would landscape and maybe we would open the kitchen to reposition the stove. Online, I scanned through everything I could find about the house until I came across a small PDF file- a seller's disclosure. Normal information like property lines and septic systems, except at the bottom of the page was a quick note, a quick sentences claiming alleged paranormal activity at the home. Ghosts. Weird. So I googled the address and it turns out the home was featured on some cable show where they hunt up ghosts. The woman who is selling the house refuses to go inside. The owners before her abandoned the house as well. Just as quickly as the excitement has come, it dies away. There was a reason this house was so cute and inexpensive. I don't know how I feel about ghosts and the idea that evil can live inside a house, but I don't want to take a mortgage to find out.

Within 48 hours I fell in and out of love. Granted, it was with a house, but I understand how it can happen with people. When we are alone and looking for someone within our range, it's easy to fall hard when we stumble across someone who seems perfect for us. We imagine happy endings with a man or woman we've only just met. And then we learn something about them- they're a republican or they're already married (perhaps both) and as quickly as it started, the dream is over. We're left to wonder what was real and what wasn't. Was it all excitement and emotions? And will we ever be able to recognize something real in the midst of our impulsive desires?

What is it about real love that lasts? Because let's face it, each of us eventually discovers something about our partner that feels like a deal breaker. But real love doesn't bail, the way we did on that haunted house. Because when love is real people stick. Their lives, their hearts, their arms and legs become so connected to this other person that when they learn they'll not have children, pulling away isn't an option. So what else can do but pull ourselves together and find strength in each other.

I've fallen in and out of love with a house this weekend and I know we may not have a house at all this year. But the cliched truth is that he is my home- now and forever.