Day 35: Saying What We Mean

It usually goes like this:
I say: "I don't want anything for my birthday this year."
He says: "Really?" in a sort of high-pitched are-you-playing-games-with-me tone
I say: "Really. I mean, I'd rather just save the money anyway."
He says: "OK!" in a sort of over-confident I-just-got-off-the-hook tone.

And so when it is my birthday, our anniversary, Christmas, or whatever holiday it was that I suggested the lack of presents for, he doesn't buy me anything. And my feelings are always hurt and I end up crying on the phone to my mom or sister. I mean, everybody knows that when a girl says she doesn't want a gift this year, it means that she doesn't want to seem materialistic and self-centered. But, yes, she DOES want a gift. And she wants it to be beautiful and functional and a little bit expensive. It's taken me three years to learn that I need to say what I mean.

So this year for my birthday I said, "I'd like a Kitchen-Aid mixer, professional 6 quart, please. It needs to be red, and I'm going to pick it out this weekend."
He said: "Really?" in a sort of high-pitched are-you-playing-games-with-me tone.
And I got the mixer, and it's an incredible piece of machinerybut it didn't feel particularly romantic, seeing as I dictated my way through the ordeal.

It's Christmas time and it's not about the getting, that's for sure. But when he asks me what I want this year, I'm going to say that I want something beautiful and functional and a little bit expensive. I'll say what I mean, but I'll leave the rest to him... and hope I don't end up with a snowblower.