Day 32: Being Sick

I'm never sick. And by never I mean less than once a year. Migraines, UTIs and Toothaches don't count. So imagine my surprise when I woke up yesterday feeling as though someone had knotted the airways to my sinuses and stirred up my intestines with a Kitchen Aid- on speed 3. Do you ever have pep-talk days when you self-coach yourself through the day. Just nine hours, Naphtali. All you have to do is stay coherent for nine hours and then you can come home and crash and eat whatever you want and watch TV until you fall asleep. A bargain is a bargain, so I made it through yesterday. But today I am couched. It's the afternoon and I'm still in pajamas. I'm sorry to say that there are a half dozen coffee mugs and oatmeal bowls and empty wine glasses scattered throughout our small living room. The mail is in a heaping pile and Micky has shredded a purple tennis ball; it's remains lie scattered in clumps. I try to turn my face into the couch, but I can't ignore.

There's nothing else to do but climb out of the Naphtali-sized indentation I've made in the cushions and turn up the Christmas music Rich has downloaded onto our laptop. I pour an egg-nog over ice and add a double splash of brandy to ease the Fa-la-las and start to put this home back together before Rich gets home from work.

This is not 100 Days of Love Wife sacrificing for her husband and feeling good about it. This is an annoyed version of myself realizing that the house is disgusting and it's not going to clean itself regardless of how I feel.

Sometimes we just have to get off the couch and gather up the dishes. It's not always about loving and giving and feeling like we are owed a golden star for our self-less performances. Maybe it's just me, but I think we're trained to believe that anytime we do something that is not directly related to our own pleasure, we are golden people. The good ones. But My mother cleaned our home for two decades, not because she wanted to prove something, but because if she didn't probably no one would.

Today I am sick and I am taking responsibility. I am getting up to clean and yes, I am taking the egg-nog with me.