Day 31: The Opposite of Love

Elie Wiesel once said that the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.

Do you ever let the phone go to voicemail when a friend calls, because you know they’re going to complain about something and you just can’t muster the energy to act like you care? The bills are spread across the table and you’d rather go through that painful process than take the call. It’s indifference.

You say you care about people in need. That poverty is the root of all evil, but you’d rather get the oil changed than spend a Saturday afternoon at the Wayside Soup Kitchen. Indifference.

And you know he’s worked 16 hours overtime this week and he’s carrying it in the knots on his shoulders but it’s just so much energy to give a back rub. I mean, you’ll do it if he asks, but you’re not going to offer. That’s not hate, but it just might be the opposite of love.

Look closely and you’ll see that many of us have patterned our lives after indifference. Maybe because it’s easier. Maybe it’s about survival. Like me, It’s not that I hate the people around me, I just don’t really care either way. Or at least I don’t care enough to do more than blog about it.

If we love our spouses better by loving the people around us, then we have to force ourselves to care. When I was training to be a teacher, one professor would always say, “Fake it til you feel it.” If you can’t love, if you’re feeling as blah as a tuna sandwich on white, then you must pretend. You must act excited. You must accept the call, push the bills aside and at least make the listening noises. This sounds ridiculous, I know. But if you act like you care, eventually you won’t have to act anymore. This is my plan.