Day 29: The Cavity

I've got a cavity. On the upper left side. I've known about this hole in my enamel for over a year, but it only bothers me occasionally-like when I chomp on cold green peppers. Sometimes a piece of deli meat will get wedged up there and I'll spend hours trying to work it out. Gross. Today I was munching on red grapes and a spear of pain shot right up into my sinuses. This is my third cavity. Each has resulted in six months of incredible pain and overdosing on Tylenol/Advil combinations until finally it's too much and I surrender to the dentist for a double shot of Novocaine and one quick yank.

One would think that by the third time I would have learned. By now I should be an old pro at scrubbing my teeth and flossing and staying away from the Good'n Plentys. But I'm not, and it is most likely that I will end up an old woman with only one tooth left and it will begin to form a cavity and I'll ignore it just the same. When it comes to tooth pain, my strategy is to ignore and disguise everything until the pain literally keeps me awake through the night. And then I go another week. I know this is shocking, but it's how I operate.

How many relationships are like my cavities? There are issues. There are cracks and holes. He forgets to pay the electric. She complains about him to her mother. He's fired from work. She spends their savings on Christmas. These pinpoint cracks chip at the enamel of our relationships. Why is it that we don't protect against them? Why do we wait until we are screaming in pain before we try to work these issues out? Because by the time we start caring enough to fight for our relationships, they've become abscessed and there's nothing to do but pull them out, stem off the bleeding and try to start again.

Rich and I aren't the perfect preventive couple. We don't floss our marriage twice a day. But I've learned that a bit of truth will go a long way. The words I'm sorry are stronger than baking soda, and an honest I'll really try to work on that can be fluoride to a weakened marriage.