Day 18: Storming it Out

We don't fight often, but when Rich and I fight, it is a thing to behold. Like last night. I won't go into details, but... actually, I will go into details.

We were talking about buying a house and how much mortgage we could afford. I was arguing for taking out a higher mortage and using the extra to start a business. Rich wants to take out separate loans for a business and mortgage. He says we should use other people's money to start a business, in case it fails. I said that he was already betting on us failing and that he was a scaredy pants, and other things that wives shouldn't say to their husbands. He kept going with it and I got so mad that I reached out and pinched him as hard as I could. I don't know what's going on with me and pinching, but lately it's been my way of expressing frustration. Mind you, this is not playful pinching; this is grab and twist pinching. He tried to pinch me back, but I twisted away and he ended up grabbing my arm, which hurt a little, but mostly made me angry. So, he's yelling at me to never pinch him again and to apologize right now and I am yelling at him to stay away from me, with angry words I've never heard myself say. It's quiet and we go our separate ways- me to the couch, him to the bedroom.

But I can't stay on the couch all night because it's cold out there. Remember, heat is not allowed after 11pm. Micky, being the traitor that he sometimes is, has chosen Rich and they are pow-wowing in the (warmer) bedroom. I know I have to go into the bedroom and make up. I'm still mad enough to pinch, so I don't say anything, I just go sit on the end of the bed.

We ignore each other for a moment, then Rich starts to laugh, this is our signal to make up- it means that we're ok, that we don't mean whatever just happened. I laugh back, but we're both still eyeing each other suspiciously. Like two half-drunk gamblers in the Wild West- each suspecting the other of cheating at cards while trying to conceal the ace we've hidden up our own sleeve. For the first time since we've started this experiment, I really do not want to be intimate with my husband. But I do, even though I am still angry. We make it through the night, barely touching.

This morning I woke up to the smell of coffee. Rich tackles me on the bed and asks for his 100 Days of Love wife back. I promise not to pinch anymore and not to swear so much and he says he'll listen to my ideas more often. (How many times does a girl hear that?) It's Day 18, after the storm. And we're ok.