Day 13: Surrounded by Silent Acts of Love

I said, "We need to work on really loving each other. This hundred days is supposed to bring ephiphanies and new levels of commitment. it feels like we're the same old people- just a lot more tired." He didn't say a word, just handed me a pile of clothes- fresh from the drier and mostly folded.

Later on, as I was folding chocolate squares in pastry dough, I continued with it; "I mean, you haven't kissed me once since we got home. I guess that means I haven't kissed you either. maybe we're not going to change." He looked up from the counter where he was scraping crusted flour and butter off the formica and shook his head before turning to gather my baking dishes.

That evening, after editting his Psychology paper and adding APA citations until my head spun, I stared at the laptop screen in frustration. "Rich, I'm a fake. I have nothing to say about love today. I have nothing to say about marriage. It's Day 13 and we're no closer to each other than on Day 1. And I just don't feel like doing this anymore!" He stood at the bedroom door and gave me the look he gives me after I've said something ridiculous. The look that says, wait, are you listening to the words that are coming out of your own mouth?

He said, "First of all, no excuses. If you're going to do something, you need to see it through." I started to interrupt, but he just kept on going. "And haven't you been paying attention? I get up 30 minutes before you everday so that you can wake up to fresh coffee. Because I'm trying to show you that I love you. You made me chocolate croissants- for 5 hours on your day off, because you love me. I scurry after you cleaning up your croissant making messes and folding the laundry because I want you to know that I love you."

At this point he was increasing in volume and I looked down at the blankets, a little bit embarressed. "And did you not just spend an hour fixing my Psychology paper? Naph, we're more in love than every, you just have to stop looking for these huge moments and you'll start to notice the good stuff. The real stuff."

And he's right, of course. But I hate being told like that, and I'm the one who's supposed to be noticing all of these details. It makes me wonder what else I've missed- not just with my husband but with everyone I love. Why is it that the more we love someone, the less we notice that love in action? And how much richer would our lives be if we really looked and realized the extent to which we are surrounded by love?